I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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