The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
