Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
