First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
