Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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