so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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