Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There r osticjed everywhere
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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