Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If that was your dad, he is hot
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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