Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
