So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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