just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
