No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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