She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
