She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
