you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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