So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
