Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
