Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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