butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize