what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
