Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
