i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize