I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
