I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize