So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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