Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
