Soap is not a condiment
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
