Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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