who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
