i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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