i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
