Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
