you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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