so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
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I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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