please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
