What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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