Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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