It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize