my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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