Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
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I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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