If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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