Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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