well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
