I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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