So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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