girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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