HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
