i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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