There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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