Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
