Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
