There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
