She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
