we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
