I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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