oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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