I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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