i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
