she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
