There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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