Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How does one acquire holy water?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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