morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
