Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
